To The Robbers:

Dear Robbers,

I'm not surprised that you stole the tv and dvd player and Play Station. They were all old and about to be replaced so it's not that big a deal that you took them. Though I am sad that they are missing.

I'm sad, but again unsurprised, that you took several jewelry boxes. I think most of them contained costume jewelry or things that weren't too important. But I can't remember and now I'll never know.

I really wish you hadn't taken my ESO's parent's anniversary clock. That clock was neat, and since it was an heirloom, irreplaceable for sentimental reasons.

But why did you take the power cord for the dsl router? You didn't even take the router itself. I don't blame you for not taking it, it's kind of a piece of shit, but why take only the power cord? The router is so old that we had to buy a whole new router. Taking the cord just renders the old one entirely useless. That's just mean.

Also, were you cold? Is that why you took the portable oil heater? I liked that little oil heater. It kept me warm on many a cold and WoW filled evening. I sincerely hope that the oil bursts out of the heater onto you and sets you on fire!

Die in a fire you thieving mother fuckers!


That is all.